If I told you a guy beats his boyfriend with a belt, you might be alarmed. It's best to think of gainers and encouragers like S&M partners. It might help to know that there are gainers ('feedees' in the straight world) who want to get fat, or fatter or even enormously obese. Encouragers (feeders, as they're called in the straight community) are the kinky side of fat. Other than that, they're pretty much like other gay guys. We kept the love and just ditched the bad sex.ĭ.O.: Chasers are guys who like fat men. He said, 'Dan, being married to you, I feel like a woman married to a gay man.' I thought he was beautiful, like those guys in the gay magazines, but he knew he'd never have the sexual relationship with me that he wanted. Actually, he started the break-up process because he said that he didn't feel like I was attracted to him, not the way any other gay guy would be. I didn't dump my ex because he wasn't fat enough. For me it took several long-term relationships that didn't work out to show me just how important that physical aspect was. Remember too that a lot of guys who can't handle their attraction to fat guys often can't even handle being gay. Many other guys fight against it or think of fucking a fat guy as a guilty pleasure or, worse, a dirty secret. D.O.: I didn't so much fight against it as remain ignorant of it, how deep it ran.
